TITLE: Exorcism in Plaid
ARCHIVE: List OK, all others please ask permission, e-mail forward OK
SUMMARY: Dana Scully and Maggie play out a scene that Scully wishes had happened.
EXORCISM IN PLAID
The air was chilly, especially against her bare legs beneath the polyester puddle of a skirt, but Dana Scully did not turn on the heat beyond low and even then kept it relegated to the floor vents. The night was malleable, but dark nonetheless, and she was far from the city lights of Chicago. Pulling off the tollway and onto a wide, empty highway placed her even further from the amber streetlights. The cabin was suddenly washed in greens and reds from the dashboard and made it difficult to read the instructions Maggie Doyle had scribbled on her prescription pad. It was a break from the role, but this was only the preliminary stage. She didn't need to be in character for this. The tightness she felt in her chest and the tremor in her stomach were real enough no matter what year it was.
Maggie waited at the high school--a low, flat collection of cubes that had been around since the mid-seventies. The Deerfield Public High School. Also not historically accurate, but usable nonetheless. Especially in light of what they were doing, and, in Maggie's case--waiting as she was on a bench off the parking lot--her dress. It would, of course, be improper for a trauma doctor in the County General ER to be seen wearing the green-and-blue plaid skirt and crested blazer of Holy Angel's girl's high school. Dana took a deep breath, feeling it reverberate in her lungs, and stopped to let her in.
"Hey," Maggie said enthusiastically. "Thanks for picking me up. It's so embossing to get rides from my parents, you know? It's like Jen and Glo and Rick are always hanging around after school and I don't want them to see my parents. They think they're so big anyway. Especially Glo. She's such a snob!"
Dana swallowed quickly, as she would have done, taken aback by Maggie's precision and boisterousness. "I know!" she said trying to match Maggie's energy level. She self-consciously pulled her own blazer a little closer around her body, even though the car was becoming warmer with the extra body.
"Hey, can we go to the lake? Do you have time?" Maggie asked, turning in her seat, so that she sat sideways, her left leg folded under her and standing out white in the darkness. Dana admired Maggie's muscular calves. So typically Irish/American.
"Yeah. Dad's out at sea, and my mom's mad at Bill. I mean, the longer I have the car, the less time he has to use it. So she'll probably thank us."
"Well, I'll tell her she's welcome," Maggie said daintily, feigning a curtsey in the seat. They both giggled at that.
Woods Lake was a small, shallow algae pit ringed by a thicket of oaks, shagbark hickories, and lower, fuller maples. The spot was ideal for parking--off the access road and hidden by trees--and the ground was pressed flat by dozens of tires from countless cars that had parked long enough to steam the windows. It was their special place, though, and special in a more innocent, yet no less intimate way. It was their place to talk about their vastly confusing lives and share the fears and joys that teenagers by necessity keep hidden.
"What's wrong?" Dana asked as she killed the engine. "You want to talk about something."
Maggie's face was lost in the darkness. All Dana could see was the cutting outline of her right cheekbone. "I just wanted to say...You're really cool for doing this for me. I want you to know that's what I think. I mean, you..."
"I shouldn't have ignored you last week," Dana admitted reluctantly, but sincerely.
"No! I totally understand that was pretty weird wasn't it? You know? What I did. That was pretty..." she sighed.
Dana reached out and squeezed Maggie's hand, felt the smoothness of her thigh beneath her fingers. "You were messed up. Todd dumped you..." She shook her head. "You were really turned around."
"It wasn't just that..." Maggie's thumb swept across Dana's knuckles. She sighed, turned to look out the windshield pensively. Dana turned, pulling her right leg up onto the seat between them, causing her skirt to ride uncomfortably high on her hips. Her eyes met Dana's again, still dark and mysterious even with her night blindness passing. "Dana, he was my first boyfriend! And I didn't even like being with him!"
Dana shrugged, her chest tightening even further. She was coming so close to the edge. "Maybe he wasn't the right one. No biggie."
"It's not that, though! It's...Dana...I didn't feel as bad when he dumped me as when you...stopped talking to me."
"I'm soooo sorry..."
"No!" she squeezed Dana's hand. "I'm totally all right with that. It's just..." her head dipped. Even at sixteen she would have known where this was going. The cold unfolding within herself would have been the same. "Dana...didn't you like it a *little* bit when I kissed you?"
Her tone was imploring, pulling her in directions she couldn't go...Tempting...but...No! She couldn't.
"Maggie," she said imploringly, "we're just *friends*!"
"But you liked it! I know you did," Maggie insisted, sliding across the seat slightly with the single-minded intent of a shark. Their calves were touching, the smooth flesh feeling like silk.
"Maggie, I just...didn't want you to feel..."
"You asked me to touch you under your skirt! You wanted me to..."
"*No*!" Dana writhed suddenly, lunging forward and clutching Maggie by the sleeves of her blazer. "You can't tell *anyone* about that! I was just...I saw a movie and I was curious! That's it! You can't say anything about that! If my dad found out...Oh God! If Sister Stephanie found out..."
Maggie pulled away and wrapped her hands around Dana's wrists. "It's okay! Dana! It's okay! I'm not gonna tell anybody anything."
Dana relaxed, felt the panic subside, looked at the seat ashamedly and murmured her thanks.
"There's nothing wrong it, Dana. Jeez. You act like you killed somebody or got pregnant or something."
"It's wrong, Maggie! How can you say that?"
Dana snorted. "Try everybody."
"Yeah, but...everybody's not here," Maggie said teasingly. "We're like...our own world here. No one's around. No one's watching or gonna know. I'm not gonna tell. If I kissed you, how would anybody prove it happened? You know?"
Dana shrugged. "I don't know."
"So..it'd be like it didn't happen. If that's what you want it to be."
"Yeah..." Dana said softly. "I think..." She looked up in time to see Maggie leaning in for this kiss. Dana didn't meet it, as she normally would in the comfort zone of Maggie's apartment or her motel room. She faltered, remembering her reactions to emotional situations when she was that age. Her tomboyish existence penetrated, she tended to freeze.
Just as she would in a moment like this.
And allow Maggie's lips to meet hers. A not-unwelcome kiss. Soft and passionate and filled with the fragile truth of the intimacy women could share. Dana looked deep into her memories--used the familiar heat and scents of the moment to access them with more clarity--and peeled away the layers of guilt, shame, fear, confusion, to the core desire. As their lips touched in a good-girl's clenched-teeth kiss and Maggie's hand toyed with her thick ponytail, she felt the desire stir like a lethargic, lonely animal.
Sixteen years alone.
She opened her mouth, made the kiss more passionate, more sexual. Maggie whimpered, startled, but did not pull away. A moment later she felt the shocking softness of Maggie's tongue against hers. They clashed in the electric moment of the kiss.
But the teenager would not have boldly gone forward, and so Dana recoiled, pulling away and flattening against the car door. "No. Okay, Maggie, that was wrong. I shouldn't have done that."
"Why not?" Maggie asked tauntingly, so much like Rachel.
"You know! You're not supposed to kiss with your tongue." *Fall back on the rules...always obey the rules, even back then...*
Maggie laughed. "Don't be such a little prude, Dana. It felt good, didn't it? I want to go more. Come on, let's do that some more..."
"No! Maggie, it's not supposed to feel good! That's how...things happen. Sinful things. Stuff that gets you pregnant." *Thattagirl...even if the rules don't make sense when you say them, as long as you follow them you will never have to confront the unknown...and you don't want to do that, do you?*
"Well, your chances of getting pregnant..."
"But it's *wrong!*"
Maggie's pale, strong hand reached out and traced Dana's cheekbone and trailed along her jawbone in just the manner that would have enchanted the sixteen year-old girl. Soft and delicate and caring. Not the rough contact of sports or gym class or roughhousing with her brothers. A gentle touch for a girl who--at some unknown, incomprehensible level--craved just such contact. Her girlfriend's mouth found hers again, and she kissed back with enthusiasm, her lips and tongue following Maggie's lead.
*Always follow...if you follow, you will never be culpable, you will never be responsible. If you do not set out on your own, you will always be safe...*
Like Rachel, Maggie knew this and slid one hand along her thigh, igniting the nerve-endings in an erotic fury. Dana gasped, breaking the kiss. "Maggie...are you going to..." but Maggie's hand plunged into the darkness beneath Dana's skirt and brushed the cotton crotch of her panties. She shuddered.
"Going to do that?" Maggie asked, her evil grin visible even in the darkness. In her words. Dana wanted to pull away, wanted to make the delirious new sensation stop, wanted to return to normalcy.
But she wanted to indulge the heat between her legs even more. And she wanted to know her friend in that *special* way most of all...
"Uh-huh..." she managed before kissing Maggie hard. This time Maggie was the one who pulled away, seemingly instantly, but empirically Dana knew it must have been several seconds.
"Your...your thing's all wet," she said breathlessly. Her own composure beginning to crumble amid the steamed windows and the car's warming interior--now tinged with just the slightest scent of Dana's sex. "I never knew that other girls...I mean of course they do, but I always thought I was the only one who..."
The cheek that pressed against Dana's lips was flushed with an embarrassed heat. She whispered in an equally hot ear. "I...sometimes have impure thoughts about you, Maggie. At night, in bed? I think things so *dirty*, I just couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't even tell in confession." The fingers that were playing across the fabric were so adept that she was having trouble coalescing her thoughts.
"What do you think?"
"I...oh, Maggie...I imagine we're naked together and doing stuff..." And then a finger slipped brazenly under the elastic and touched her special button. Dana shook with sudden spasm and twisted against the ecstasy.
"Do you then commit impure acts?" Maggie asked with mock-sternness.
Another finger passed the barrier and slipped inside of her. Dana lifted her hips at the joyous invasion of that part of her that she'd been conditioned to fear.
"Do you do this?" Maggie demanded.
"Yes..." Dana's eyes were screwed shut, imagining Maggie's expression in the brief moments when she could exercise parts of her brain other than the pleasure centers.
The finger withdrew, then slid the little button between it and the other finger, causing Dana to squirm and wriggle her hips.
"Yes...oh, yes! Oh...Maggie!" And then she fell forward, catching Maggie in a loose embrace, pressing her mouth to Maggie's, kissing her hard and fast and frantically, in unison with the twitching fingers between her legs.
Scully broke to moan, and she felt Maggie's breath on her left ear. "Do you want to do penance?"
Now eroticism was overshadowed by confusion. She looked at Maggie, the woman's features unreadable in the darkness. "I don't...I don't know what you mean."
The hand withdrew from between her legs and cupped her left breast, just as the other cupped her right. "I have fantasies like that, too Dana. I sometimes...Dana, you know why I tried so hard to be in your gym class? I wanted to see your boobs! They're so...they're so pretty and big...I want to touch them. You know, skin on skin."
*The sixteen year-old would agree, not out of passion, but out of confusion. The leader is now lost, so just agree. You also just realized what effect you can have another and you want to test it out...*
"Okay..." was all she had to say, and Maggie's fingers were on pulling at the buttons on her white blouse, tugging it out of her waistband. "Do you want me to get my bra?" she asked.
"No, I got it..." Maggie slid her hands inside the gaping blouse and up Dana's back, causing her to shiver. She fumbled with the clasp. "Damn..."
"Here, you want me to..."
"I can do it..."
"I can just..." but then it came free, and Maggie brushed it out of the way, freeing Dana's full, conical breasts.
"Oh, Dana..." Maggie gasped and began rubbing them with the palms of her hands. Dana sighed and felt her erect nipples trace patterns on Maggie's hands.
"That feels so *good*!"
"I like them so...can I suck on them? You don't have to if you..."
"No," Dana said quickly, "go ahead. I want you to..."
The mouth that took her nipple into it was tentative at first, but curious. Dana closed her eyes again and ran her fingers through Maggie's hair. The mouth was growing braver, now, more confident--alternating usage of lips, teeth, and tongue--and moving from one to the other, so that she felt a sexually-masochistic chill on the wet breast that was unattended.
It went that way, with Dana enjoying it like a good massage, until an idea, a desire struck her. She pulled Maggie's head away from her body, looked into eyes filled with unspoken fear *have I done something wring? Have I gone too far?*
"Maggie," she said urgently. "We should rub our boobs together. I bet it'd feel really good..."
"Yeah," Maggie breathlessly concurred as she slid out of her jacket and, in less time than Dana would have thought possible, stripped off her blouse, tie, and bra. Scully had just pulled out of her own bra, when she noticed Maggie's breasts--saw them with all the forbidden excitement as the sixteen year-old would have--smallish, upturned, very firm. "Don't look!" Maggie exclaimed, suddenly crossing her arms. "They're too small!"
"No!" Dana reassured her, leaning in. "They're so pretty..." Maggie's arms unfolded and then they were in a smooth, fleshy embrace, kissing with abandon, rubbing their chests from side to side, so that their breasts rolled against one another, the nipples tweaking their counterparts. Hands explored beneath skirts again--one set with experienced boldness, the other more tentative, touching and drawing back, only to touch deeper, harder, more insistantly. Dana took it all into her memory, the wondrous sensation between her legs, in her breasts and nipples, in her heart the abandoned desire she felt for this woman, and the acceptence she felt of herself. She took it all and offered it up the confused sixteen year-old girl who, a part of her believed, still existed somewhere--if only in memory--in the front seat of a car with her closest friend, at a precipice and unsure of what do next, and what the consequences of her decision would be.
"What was her name?" Maggie whispered in Dana's ear as they curled in earch other arms. She was moving her legs, trying to loose the panties that Dana--in her enthusasm--had pulled down to her thighs.
"Rachel," Dana answered. "That was so remarkable, Maggie, sometimes I could even forget it was you..."
Maggie giggled. "You don't grow up in a cop family without learning how to role-play. With all the handcuffs and Sam Browne belts around..."
Now it was Dana's turn to laugh gently.
"So, did you exorcise your bad memories?"
"Not bad. Just regretful. And yes. Thank you." She kissed Maggie's cheek. "You're so wonderful for helping me."
"Believe me when I say it was my pleasure."
"We should go," Dana detangled herself from Maggie's embrace. She fumbled with the car keys.
"Let me help you with that," Maggie offered and took the keys from Dana's hand.
And tossed them into the backseat somewhere.
Dana stared into the darkness behind, wondering how she was going to find them with out turning on the domelight and revealing their near-nakedness. She turned back to Maggie. "What did..."
But Maggie was kicking away her skirt.
"Take these off..." she gently commanded, sliding Scully's blazer and skirt off of her.
"Maggie..." Dana giggled. "What are you doing?" But Maggie simply unbuttoned her skirt and pulled it away. She moved on to the panties. "We can't do this here...What if someone sees us?"
But by that time they were nude except for their ankle-socks and penny-loafers.
"Come here," Maggie pulled Dana into another embrace and let the seat recline all the way, so that they were laying nearly perfectly flat.
"You're a wild woman," Dana whispered, her left leg sliding between Maggie's.
"That time was for a sixteen year-old girl. This time is for the woman that girl grew into." They kissed, their hips pressing into each other, their pubic curls entwining. "This time we make love like grown women..."
And to the frantic chirping of late-season crickets and hooting owls, the two women who were long past their periods of fear and shame, made love in the front seat of a car like the girls they were not, would never be again.