Over the River and Through the Woods
Date Archived: 05/12/02
Category: Drama, Relationship, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, PWP, Post-Episode
Spoilers: William and Season 8/9
Permission to archive: yes
Notes: Be gentle, this is virgin territory for me.
Disclaimer: I don't own them because if I did would i be here. Just borrowing Scully and Reyes from the gang at 1013 and CC.
Summary: Just my take on one possible outcome from the episode William
Over the River and through the Woods
She just couldn't stop crying. The pain had made her numb. She was just a void-and she couldn't stop crying. For two days she cried and it seemed like she was going to cry forever. When she had passed out from the pain somewhere at the 12th hour on the first night I snuck out to my house to retrieve some clothes. Half of it didn't even match and I know I forgot my toothbrush, but even the five minutes that I took seemed too long. When I returned, half out of breath since I ran up the stairs, too anxious and worried to wait for the elevator. She was still there in her bed, drowning in her covers.
My heart ached to watch her. Even in her sleep she was in pain. I sighed and pulled the door-leaving it ajar and walked down the hallway. I had trained myself over the last few hours to not even look in the direction of the nursery. I knew it was there, looming over my shoulder like my grade school teachers checking my work. But, I remained strong and strode by the room back to the couch, where I smooshed down into the cushions and waited to wake up from this from this nightmare. I glanced up at the now dark room and I could feel the anger course through me. I hadn't yet had time to be sad, but I knew it was coming. Part of me wanted to get up and close the door or just start dismantling the crib and toss out the mobile. I wanted to torch that room and wipe the memory of it and all that it was from the face of the earth. But then Dana would surely die and it would be my fault.
I heard her cry out and once again I was up off the couch like it had been pulled from under me. I pushed through her door and was at her side just as she reached out. She seemed to wake up as she touched me and realized what she was doing. She tried to pull away like all the times before, but this time I held her. I held her with my eyes and with my hands on her shoulders. Eyes that were blue in the soft light of the table lamp caught my eyes and she gave up her fight. She collapsed into my arms and let me hold her. She begin to sob again and I just moved us into the center of the bed and rested my back up against the head board and let her hold on, while I acted as a pillar. Every whimper, every cry, every shake of her body tore through me like hot nails over glass. She was tearing me apart just as she was falling apart.At some point she fell asleep, there in my arms, fists twisting in my shirt, face jammed between my neck and shoulder. I could feel her breath on my collar bone and the steady rhythm of her heart came a half a step behind the beat of my own heart. I sighed, knowing I wasn't going to be moving anytime soon, even when the circulation in my leg cut off since she was laying on it. I smiled morbidly, knowing I didn't want to move-this was where I wanted to be. I had imagined coming to her bed a thousand different ways over the last few months, though it was never like this. I knew I would protect this woman; I had from the beginning. I had barely seen her more than handful of times when I was ready to sacrifice myself to some invincible entity just to protect her. Just to protect William. But he was gone now and she was on the verge of going as well. I got angry again. I bit at my lip and hugged her closer; she seemed to welcome the contact burrowing deeper into me. My stomach flipped a few times at the new contact of her knee between my legs. It was an unconscious action , but I couldn't fight my feelings. I looked down at her, ran my fingers through tousled red hair and tried to find some peace for the both of us. Life was so unfair to this woman. She had lost so much and now it seemed like she had lost everything.
And here I was selfish enough to think I could do something to help her to ease her pain. Whatever it may be I knew I would do it. The last few months had been going so well. She was accepting that Mulder was gone, we were beginning to feel like friends and then he shows up. Disfigured and weepy with all the right words. Damn, I'm kicking myself again. I wanted him to be Mulder-for Dana. I wanted him to take that pain away, but he wasn't Mulder and damn it, if she just didn't break all over again. I closed my eyes and fell asleep with Dana in my arms.The third day I woke up in her bed and she was gone. In my haste to get out of the bed, I didn't actually get out of the covers so I hit the ground hard with the sheet still twisted around my ankles. Upside down was how she came into my view. She was standing in her bathroom in fresh clothes, her hair damp, and her eyes still bloodshot. From down here, her eyes were green, I grinned. She looked at me oddly, but I realized from this angle that she was actually smirking. I righted myself quickly and kicked out of the sheet as I scrambled to get up. She looked up at me. "You okay." Her voice was a little hoarse from all the crying, but god if it didn't sound like heaven to hear her. "Yeah, yeah." I ran a hand through my hair. "I couldn't find you." I looked her in the eye. Dana nodded and turned away from me as she walked back to the bathroom. I hung my head thinking I had pushed her too far once again and left the room to give her some privacy. I was fixing coffee when I heard her. She was walking down the hallway and she stopped. "Fuck," I muttered under my breath. I should have closed the door. I moved out into the hallway and just stood there watching her as she stared into William's empty room. I watched her jaw tighten as she fought her tears. She was so tired and it was obvious. If I condoned suicide I would have just handed her a gun right then just to make it stop, but selfish or not, I wasn't going to lose Dana-not like this. She reached out towards the room and she was about to step inside. I had had enough. I moved to her quickly and stepped in her path. "Dana, don't." She looked up at me with those sad and angry eyes and for a second I thought she was going to punch me. I glanced down at her clenched fist and understood that she was really considering it. I lifted my chin in a show of defiance and shook my head. "No, Dana." She stared at me hard. As ironic as it was, I loved her like this: fierce and determined. Her face was all angles and she was severe and beautiful. I gave as good as I got, staring into her, trying to take away her pain. She blinked first and I thought she was just going to collapse to the floor. Instead, before I knew what was happening, her hands were in my hair and she was pulling me down to kiss her. Her kiss was raw and angry and just slightly nervous. I was too weak-kneed to stop her. I opened my mouth to her questing tongue and let her have free reign to do whatever she wanted. She continued to kiss me in a desperate manner and I just tried to stand up for her and tried to survive her intensity. When I felt small hands on my breasts, pinching my nipples through the material-I knew I needed to find a place to sit before I fell down. This was all too much and it was wrong. 'Fuck my conscious.' I thought as I kissed her back gruffly and pushed her back so that she was against the wall. I didn't realize her hands were working at my buttons, until I heard the shirt rip in a show of frustration and need. I gasped like some teenage girl and stepped back, my hands held out before me, bracing and protecting my self from the coming maelstrom that was Dana Scully. We stood on opposite walls both panting like angry wild animals. Dana's face was flushed and the sadness in her eyes was replaced by something I hadn't expected to see, at least pointed in my direction. It was want. I don't know if she really wanted me or just that she wanted someone, somebody, anything that would give her contact. Anything that she could connect to that allowed her not to think. I stared into eyes gone nearly gray in the waning light. She wanted to be anywhere but here. I stood up straight and held out my hand. "I don't want to be here anymore." My words were flat and dangerous. Dana just looked up at me in a bit of a daze, but she understood. "You don't need anything." I couldn't believe I was saying these things nor could I believe how aroused I was by it all. And she was too. I felt her warm hand in mine and then I don't know if I dragged her or if she walked with me, but we left her home and headed to mine.
My hands shook as I tried for the second time to put the key in the lock. Dana's well-manicured hand slipped over mine as she helped me find the target. Together we opened the door. When I imagined her coming to visit me I had envisioned the tour I would take her on. Walking her through my life thanks to the pictures and art that littered the walls and corners of my home. But entering my home with her now, I knew that a tour was the furthest thing from her mind. The door closed when she pushed me up against it. It was as if we never left her apartment. Cool hands were inside my torn shirt and gripping my sides immediately. I opened my mouth instantly welcoming her tongue as I tugged at her clothes. One hand closed over my breast just as I felt the other move between my legs cupping me. My belt hit the ground and my zipper went down all within the same second and I felt her hand pushing down my pants and I knew what she was going to find there and it excited me. She pulled away from my mouth and looked up at me with a look of wonder. "You are so wet, you know that." Her lips moved against the corner of mouth as she breathed out the statement. I just nodded. Tapered fingers teased at my wet folds and my breath caught with every stroke. Her teeth tugged on my ear lobe as she kissed and licked along my jaw and cheek. "You want this don't you." I could hear amusement in her voice. I could only nod as she brushed her fingers across my clit. I let out a whimper as I looked up to the ceiling. She attacked my neck with lips and teeth and continued to torture me in the most delightful way. "Monica, tell me you want this." The sound of my name on her lips made me close my eyes as a shiver ran through my body. She wanted me to talk and I could barely stand. "Monica, tell me." I brought my head down and kissed her in response. She pressed into me, shoving me harder against the door and broke away from the kiss. "You didn't answer me." My eyes drew to slits. I was beginning to think she was trying to kill me. Between her teasing and her demands I was on the verge of exploding and she knew it. I met her eyes, now blue with her surging arousal. I had never been one to be called subtle and when it came to her I know I had never been close. Even if I hadn't known that I was in love with her, when I looked at her right then I knew that she could see my heart. Dana stilled her hand and I thought for once I had been too open and said too much without saying anything. "Dana," I grabbed her wrist. "Please." She crushed her lips to mine and whatever momentary hesitation there had been it was gone now. I still held her wrist as she began to tease me with her fingers again. I tangled the fingers of my other hand in her hair as we kissed. "Dana please." I said again between long kisses. Without warning she was inside me. I opened my eyes wide, swallowing air, and gasping. Her strokes were long and deep, pressing me into the door with force. My hand fell away from her wrist as she picked up her pace. I couldn't even kiss her anymore because I needed my mouth to moan out her name. I held nothing back in my heavy breathing and languorous moans. She moved her mouth to my neck and I was sure she was marking me and I didn't care as I buried both hands in her hair and held her to me. Her ear was right next to my lips, so she could hear my every whisper, every incoherent mumbling mixed up with curse words and holy names. She was breathing just as hard as I was and I knew when I came she was probably going to come with me. "Come with me Dana." I breathed into her ear. She whimpered and added another finger. "Fuck!" I growled out and slammed my head back against the heavy door. That was going to hurt like hell in the morning, but right now everything felt just right. When the knot in my stomach became too much, I dug my fingers into her shoulders and held on as I fell over into the blinding void. That place just out of consciousness, but where you can still feel everything. As Dana trembled against me I smiled because she had fallen off that edge with me. We stood wrapped up in each other for as long as it took us to catch our breaths. I let out a sigh as she pulled her fingers from inside me. I stood up on shaky legs and held out my hand to her. She took it silently and she followed as I lead her back to bedroom, stopping only to grab a bottled water. I handed it to her and kept right on walking. I left her in the doorway as I lit candles by memory with my lighter. I turn to find her in my doorway wearing far more clothes than I had on at the moment. She drank deeply from the bottle and when I saw stray droplets escape the bottle and hit her chin, it was like living out some teenage boys Hustler fantasy. I ate up the distance between us in two long strides and my mouth was on her chin and neck sucking at the sweet sweat and water. She moaned at the contact and the bottle slipped from her hands to the carpet. I turned her around and pushed her towards the bed. I kissed her mouth and began unbuttoning her shirt. I pulled away from the kiss to ease her shirt away from her shoulders, revealing the soft satin of a gray bra. I cupped her breast and she moaned my name out. She pulled me down for another kiss and I realized I could just stand there and kiss her until the world ended and that would be enough. I pulled back to look at her. "You're so beautiful it makes me ache sometimes." She blushed and then just as quickly she got that severe look again. Her eyes determined and a slight pout to her lips. Perhaps this look put others off, but it only incensed me. I think she expected me to come at her in the same rush of energy that she attacked me with, but I surprised her with my gentleness. With my reverence. When I guided Dana to the bed at a slow pace, I saw the confusion in her eyes. She wanted it rough and carnal and I knew I could give her that, but I wasn't an idiot. This would no doubt be the first time I made love to Dana Scully, but I knew that when she walked out of my front door it would be the last time. I hovered over her, carrying my weight on my elbows and forearms as I glanced down at her. I pressed a soft kiss to her lips that seemed to unravel her. She pushed back against my shoulders and just looked at me. I brushed damp strands of red hair away from her forehead and kissed her there. She sighed beneath me. "Monica?" It was a plea, a request. I just smiled at her with all the love and devotion I had inside me. I looked at her with the same longing and wonder and awe that I had when I helped to deliver William. As if she recognized my thoughts she reached up and hugged me to her. She seemed not to care if I was crushing her-it was the contact she craved. From somewhere deep down I found a reserve of courage. I had protected this woman with my life once before and I barely even knew her. I had protected the life of a baby I had yet to meet and I protected the son of a man that I envied as much as I admired. I had done it once before and I would do it again if given the chance. When I kissed Dana, I tried to say all that without saying it. I touched our foreheads together and willed her to believe me, to trust me. This woman who had learned to trust no one--I wanted her trust. I wanted her to trust me like she had the first time and I needed her to trust me now. Trust me enough to just let go and to let me protect her. When I looked down at her I thought I could see all the gray, and blue and green in her eyes all at once. She grinned at me and I was tempted to fall prostrate to the floor in a prayer of thanksgiving. My kisses were soft and exploratory as I worked my way down her neck and across her chest. I worked my way down, brushing my lips over scars and birthmarks. I eased her pants down and shuddered at the sweet aroma that wafted to my nose. She was so wet I could smell it. She giggled like a girl when I kissed the back of her knees and the soft skin on the inside of her thighs. She arched up for me as I removed her underwear and tossed them somewhere far away. I sat back on my heels between her legs and just gazed at her openly. The amber of the candlelight bronzed her alabaster skin with their light and made her hair shine like a glowing ember. I could only shake my head not having the words to articulate my fingers. She looked at me with question. I smiled to quell her coming hesitation. Her nipples called out to me as they had grown hard in anticipation and the cool air in the room. I fell forward onto my hands and leaned down, my hair ticking her face. She lifted her head for a kiss, but I was still to far away. I leaned down and rewarded her effort with a slow kiss. I moved down her body and cupped her full breasts in my hands. I covered her breast with my mouth and she trembled. I kneaded her neglected breast with my free hand and then switched until they had each been equally worshiped. She was all moans as I continued down her body, my tongue dipping into her belly button and teasing at the flesh of her abdomen with my teeth. She giggled and moaned at the same time, making for an interesting sound. It was all music to my ears as I moved towards my goal. Her fingers teased at my hair. I could feel her eyes on me as I took a deep breath, taking in the aroma that was Dana Scully. I slid both thighs over my shoulders, opening her up to me. When I dragged my tongue through the slick wetness that had pooled there and we both shook with arousal. I used my tongue to play in her wetness until I had her wound tight and her hips high off the bed. In the same moment I pushed two fingers deep inside her, I closed my mouth over her clit. My name burst out of her chest and came crashing down on my ears in what would become a chant of sorts. She was probably bruising my scalp with her fingers but I didn't care as I held onto her and dragged every ounce of feeling out of the red head until she was coming into my mouth with such force that I thought I was going to drown. It would have been a worthy death. She pushed at me when she came for the third time in as many minutes and she knew she could take no more. I crawled up her body, feeling as exhausted as she felt and she kissed me with such force that it was almost sweet. I hugged her to me and rolled us over so that she was draped across my body. We lay like that for a while, just breathing--our brains too addled to think. "I can keep you both safe if you let me." My words were so quiet that I hoped I hadn't said them aloud. I felt Dana tense in my arms and then warm tears on my neck. I was about to cry now only because I didn't know what else to do. "He'll never be safe and I owe him a life." She spoke the words after a long time. "I could try." I said into small ears. I felt her smile into my neck and then she raised her head to look at me. I think she wanted me to be joking but she could see the conviction in my eyes. "You going to kill all the monsters Monica?" She was trying to be mean, but there was something about her lying naked in my arms that took away some off her venom. I smirked. "If I have to Dana." I stressed her name in that personal way that always made her cringe. It got to her, but I felt like I had some small right, at least now I did. She shook her head and kissed my forehead. "Thank you for offering and thank you for wanting to, but it's done." I wanted to say something but she rolled away from me and got off the bed. I sat up. "Where are you going?" It came out sounding so desperate. She grinned. "Well I was thinking about lapping up the water from your carpet, but then I remembered there were more bottles in the fridge." I chuckled trying not to be nervous. She walked to the door way and stopped. She cast her gaze on me and grew severe. "You afraid I'm going to walk out the door?" She knew I was. "Naked and everything." My answer made her laugh. "I don't want to leave right now." I almost asked her to stay forever, but I bit my lip and just nodded. Dana looked me in the eye and I think she really did read my thoughts. She blushed a bit and wiped at a stray tear that had just fallen. I watched her walk out of my bedroom - never doubting her return. When she came back, my heart skipped a few beats at my triumph. I decided not to think about how short lived it was going to be.
Instead she came to my bed and we made love until the sun came up and late into the next afternoon, only stopping to sleep and raid the fridge every now and then. We both knew this paradise was going to end soon and I knew deep down that when Dana Scully left she was leaving everything. I would wait until her apartment was vacant and I would give her a day or two of head start, but we both knew as we kissed each other for the last time the next night that I was going to do the only thing I could and the one thing she trusted me enough to do.
I would follow.
Special Notes: Thanks to Mikee for being my sounding boarding and always being willing to light a fire under my ass. Also, special thanks to PoliticX for inspiring me to get out of my funk.
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