Healing Has To Begin Somewhere

by Tiffany

Date: Tuesday, May 21, 2002 8:56 PM

Title: Healing Has To Begin Somewhere
Author: Tiffany
Email: Starbuck83@yahoo.com
Archive: Sure, but let me know where it's going. Thanks! I'll send it to Gossamer.
Rating: G
Spoilers: "William"
Contents: Reyes/Scully Friendship
Summary: Dana opens up to Monica after the events of "William." Varies between Monica, Dana's POV and 3rd person. Disclaimer: Monica Reyes, Dana Scully and any other X-Files Characters mentioned in this story are not mine; they're the property of Chris Carter and Fox.
Note: This is the third story in a series of Post-"William" stories. The other two are "I'll Be Here" and "It's My Pain Too," in that order. You don't have to read the other two to understand this one, but it helps.*

"Healing Has To Begin Somewhere"

I don't think I will ever be able to repay Monica for all the kindness she has shown me. She kept William safe when I delivered him. She stood by my side when Mulder had to leave again. The nights after William's last attack she slept on my couch, knowing I couldn't fathom being alone. She didn't judge me when I gave my baby boy up for adoption. And tonight, when I couldn't bear staying in my own house, a house with a million reminders of William, she allowed me to invade her own home.

Monica, more than anyone else, is keeping me sane. I don't know what I would do without her. She truly has gone from a co-worker to a friend.

So, now I am laying here on her couch, trying to sleep...but every time I close my eyes I see the van pulling away, with William inside. I see my mother's angry face; I'm still not sure if she will ever speak to me again. I don't want to sleep, but my eyes really are heavy; the day must be catching up with me...

"No!" Monica bolted up from a restless sleep. "No! Don't..." Throwing on her robe, She rushed out into the living room. Dana was in the middle of a full-fledged nightmare.

Kneeling beside the couch, Monica grabbed Dana's shoulders. "Dana!" She felt a slight hesitation in Dana's movements. "Dana...Wake up! C'mon, it's not real."

Dana's eyes flew open to see Monica hovering above her. "I'm sorry Monica..."

Monica felt a wave of tenderness toward the woman in front of her. "You don't need to apologize Dana. It was a nightmare." Repeating her movements from earlier, she brushed away Dana's tears. Dana just sat still, watching Monica's every move. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No...well...yeah..." Monica looked into Dana's face, seeing sadness, fear, and someone who needed a friend. She stood up, taking Dana's hand and sitting down next to her on the couch. Entwining their fingers, she stared at the small hand between her own.

"It was about William. They, They got to him, at his new home. They got him, and made him look like, like Spender. But he was still a baby..." Monica closed her eyes, squeezing Dana's hand. Opening them, she saw tears falling quickly down her face. It looked like now was Dana's time...It was her time to let it all out.

"Dana, it's okay. You can cry." Dana shook her head, but Monica grabbed her shoulders. Pulling the smaller woman to her, she wrapped her arms around her back so that Dana's head rested against her chest. She slowly rubbed circles on Dana's back, whispering in her ear.

"It's okay Dana...Let it out. It's okay to cry." At that, Dana went limp in Monica's arms and began to sob. It wasn't often that she lost control, but when she did...

For an hour the two women sat there. In Monica's arms Dana looked so small, so fragile. As Monica rocked Dana, she could sense the woman's tension seeping out. Finally, she felt Dana stir. Placing her hand on Dana's cheek, she wiped off some of the tears and allowed her to pull away.

"Feel better?"

"Monica..." Dana looked embarrassed, Monica realized. Touching a finger to her chin, she made Dana look up.

"Dana...This is nothing to be ashamed of. You needed this."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me Dana. I'm just glad I was here for you."

Dana stared into Monica's eyes, seeing the admiration she felt for Monica reflected back at her. When Monica stood up, Dana panicked. "Monica!" Monica's head snapped to look at Dana. "Um, Could I, Um, lay with you tonight? I need, I need to be held."

Oh my God! She just asked to sleep in my bed. She never fails to amaze me. The amount of courage that must have taken for her to ask me...I can't believe how lucky I am. This wonderful woman is coming to me for help. She's hurting and now she knows that I am here for her. I just hope that I won't disappoint her.

The only thing that would be better than Dana Scully trusting me with her emotions would be to have her trust me with her love, too. But what's the chances of that happening?

Monica pulled back the sheets on the right side of the bed and gestured for Dana to lay down. After taking off her robe and getting in the bed herself, she scooted toward Dana.

"Come here." She reached over and pulled Dana close. Feeling her relax, she leaned forward and placed a single kiss on the back of her neck. "Good night Dana...sleep tight."

Dana had felt Monica's lips touch her neck, but was too tired to think about it. All she managed before succumbing to sleep was a half-mumbled "G'Night Monica..."

Monica knew Dana had fallen asleep and couldn't help but smile. 'I hope your healing has begun, sweet Dana.' Before long her eyes, too, were closed, and both women had a long, dreamless sleep.


Authors Notes: What do you think???? I'd love more feedback. I've gotten some, but not that much. Email me at Starbuck83@yahoo.com My fanfic can be found on my webpage: http://www.angelfire.com/ms/xaccess Thanks, Tiffany

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