Hold Me

by Winnie

     Date: Friday, December 27, 2002 11:52 AM
     I apologise in advance for any glaring spelling/grammer
     mistakes. I've been up all night writing this and I just had
     to send it in (William aired in Australia last night).
     Winnie (who is going to bed now)

     TITLE: Hold Me
     AUTHOR: Winnie (gillians_gal/evildana)
     RATING: R, for a little sex scene at the start
     CLASSIFICATION:  Slash/Angst Scully/Reyes
     SPOILERS: MAJOR for William
     EMAIL: winniek1@tpg.com.au
     WEBSITE: http://scully4mulder.tvheaven.com/fanficindex.htm
     NOTES: Think of it as William redone with slashy overtones.
     There will be a sequel (just keep bugging me). It hasn't
     been beta'd because I was inspired by the episode so I just
     wrote and wrote and now, I've just got to post it (It's
     Please send feedback - I live for it!
     Winnie :0)


Dana's mouth closed over Monica's as they fell into the blankets on Dana's bed. Monica reached behind Dana and undid her bra, forcing Dana to cease her attack on Monica's nipples as she took it off and threw it across the room. Monica rolled over, forcing Dana into a submissive position. Her hands snaked into Dana's pants, pushing under the layers of fabric until her fingers found Dana's dripping cunt. As Dana writhed from her touch, Monica mashed her groin against Dana's leg, sending herself on the way to an intense orgasm, the way they always were with Dana.

At a decidedly inopportune moment, the phone began to ring. Monica fumbled for her cell, took a deep breath an answered, one hand still pumping away at Dana.

"Monica Reyes" she gasped.

"Sorry John, I had to run to get the phone, guess I'm a little out of breath."

"Yes, I realize it's midnight, but I've got to live a little."

"The sound? Oh, I was just...making some batter...for pancakes."

"Oh, the other sound...it's just the door creaking...I must've left a window open."

"Okay okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Monica ended the call, giving Dana the signal to have the orgasm she had been trying to contain.

A few minutes later, Monica lay beside her and whispered in her ear "I gotta go."

Before Monica could rise, Dana grabbed her arm. "I love you Monica" she whispered. Monica just smiled and stroked Dana's cheek.


Agent Dogget had just left with the DNA sample, but even then, the female agents didn't let their guard down.

Monica was the first to break the silence. "Dana" she commanded the other woman's attention "How can you be so sure?"

"About what?" Dana asked, but Monica saw it in her eyes that she knew what Monica meant

"Bloody hell Dana, do we have to play this game? Do you have to hide the way you feel from me, to pretend when we both know what's going on?" Monica was tired. It made her impatient.

Dana looked like she was about to cry, but instead she retaliated. "Fine. You want me to be honest with you? The reason I can't let myself go with you is because you don't love me."

Monica's jaw practically hit the floor. "You think I don't love you? Would I come and give you whatever you needed whenever you needed it? Would I fly from New Orleans in an instant to deliver your child? Would I put up with all the emotional baggage you have left over from Mulder? Would I do any of that if I didn't love you, if I hadn't loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you? Well?" Monica stood proud, daring Scully to disagree.

Dana's voice was low. "Then why can't you say it?"

Monica hung her head back and contemplated the ceiling. Then, violently, she threw it upright. "Why should I have to say it? It's just a word! Don't my actions justify my love? It's so much easier to say those words and not mean them then it is to not say them and do something that shows the person that you love them."

Scully nodded gingerly and turned back towards the examination room.

"But Dana?" Monica walked up behind Dana and took her hand, turning her until she faced Monica. "I do love you." She gave Dana's hand a reassuring squeeze, and turned away.


Scully left the deformed man in her bedroom with the box of files. What she really needed was someone to beleive her, that it wasn't Mulder.

Monica called after her "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Proving Agent Dogget wrong." Scully held Monica's hands in her own.

"How? I don't understand?"

"Mulder and I agreed to take those files out of the X-files office and keep them here for safekeeping. Mulder would've known where they were, and that man in there didn't."

Monica was about to draw Dana into a hug when William began crying. The two women headed for the nursery, and to their horror, the deformed man was standing over William's crib.

"What are you doing?" Dana demanded, pushing the man away from her son."Get away from the crib!"

"The baby was crying..." began the man, but Scully didn't let him finish.

"It's none of your business"

"I'm sorry, I heard so much about William, Mulder told me how he missed him."

Scully fought the wave of emotion that came when she thought of Mulder. "Well if that's true, where is he?" She just wanted to lie against Monica's chest and cry, let go of the pain.

"Just tell me where he is!" She demanded again.

"You don't want to know" replied the man. They continued to argue like this, Scully begging him to tell her where Mulder was.

Monica butted in, offering to take William from Scully.

"No" begged the man "Please. May I?"

Scully looked back defensively, but she eventually handed him over to the man-who-was-possibly-Mulder, though she kept her eye on him all the time.

Later that evening, Scully came to talk to the man. He sat on the bed reading the files, but the instant she entered the room her glare revealed that she wanted more then idle chit-chat.

"It's all been a good act" she said, purposefully closing the door behind her.

"I don't know what you mean." the man protested.

"I think you do" Scully began to pace "You knew those files were here" she stopped, looking at the man "You just pretended not to know."


Scully exploded "I want the truth from you!"

"What truth?" asked the man, keeping his cool.

Scully spoke in a measured tone "The truth that you won't speak."

"I want the same truth you do" said the man.

Scully was desperate. "Don't do this to me. Not you." she begged.

The man tried to console her "I didn't come here to upset you. I didn't plan on being caught. I know you must have a hard life living alone raising a son not knowing if you'll see Mulder again.

"How do you know my life?" Scully's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I know what Mulder knows. They used you to create the child. I know they continue to use you to take care of it and raise it." said the man rather nonchalantly.

"What are you saying?" it is almost a threat.

"You know what I'm saying. Your son -- your child is part alien."

"Just tell me who you are. Come on, just tell me your name." Scully raised her voice " Say it!" She was practically screaming now "Just say it!"

Reyes stood in the doorway. "Agent Scully"

Scully cut her off, not stopping to wonder why she hadn't called her Dana like usual. "Could you please leave? And close the door?"

Reyes turned to the man "Could you step out please?"

Scully turned to her "This was a private conversation."

"I understand, I'm sorry".

"Do you know who that man is?" asked Scully, searching Monica's eyes.

"Yes, I do" she replied. This wasn't going to be easy.

Doggett stepped into the room and greeted Scully, closing the door behind him.

Scully looked from Monica to Dogget "What is this? What?"

Doggett swallowed hard "We got the DNA results. A positive ID"

Denial kicked in immediately. "It's not him. He wouldn't say these things."

"The DNA's a match for Fox Mulder's"

Scully was steadfast. "It's not him."

She dropped onto the bed and stared at the wall. Doggett and Reyes stood over her, concerned.

"Can we get you anything?" asked Doggett.

Dana knew that even if she was in Monica's arms she would feel hopelessly distant, her mind lost in an endless game of "Is he or isn't he". All Dana said was "No, Thank you. I just need a minute." With that she rose and left the room.

"Where'd he go?" asked Doggett, looking around for the man.

Finally, when Doggett left in pursuit of the man, Reyes had a chance to hold Dana, and for a moment give her the chance to let her guard down, to not have to be the invulnerable g-woman.

After Doggett returned (with the man in tow), Monica got Dana's sleeping pills from the bathroom cabinet. The bottle was quite full - a few weeks after they stated seeing each other, she didn't need them. Now they only got used after nightmares when Monica wasn't there.

Once the man was sleeping, Scully dropped onto the couch, closely followed by Monica. Doggett watched from nearby, not wanting to disturb the special chemistry that the pair seemed to share.

Scully spoke first. "So, what now?" It was the kind of thing she'd say to Reyes after dinner with a cheeky raised eyebrow, but this time there was no sparkle in her eye.

"What do you mean?" her lover asked, clarifying.

"What do you want to do?"

Doggett butted in. They had almost forgotten he was there. "Keep it a secret for starters."

"Well that's not going to be hard" Scully sighed "Nobody's ever going to beleive that that's Mulder."

Reyes reasoned with her "Somebody did this to him. Whoever that is is going to know it's him. I mean, that's what he's afraid of."

"If he's so afraid then why did he run?" asked Scully.

"You still don't beleive it's him." Doggett shook his head with disbelief.

"You know a person in so many ways. Ways that a test can't even begin to know" Scully replied cryptically.

"Look, I'll be happy to run his DNA again for you, but I don't need to tell you what a long shot it is. I mean, it came up a perfect match." Doggett tried to sway her with facts.

"You asked why he'd run" said Reyes "stop and think how hard this is for him. I mean, the way he looks." What she meant was, "how could he feel worthy of loving someone as beautiful as you".

"If that was Mulder, I wouldn't care" Scully unwittingly dealt Reyes a blow. Would this woman, Dana, really go back to Mulder so quickly, without a thought of Monica?

"But he cares, he has to." said Reyes, knowing that in the presence of such a beauty, anyone would, or at least they should.

Doggett plonked down on the couch beside Monica. "Maybe he's ashamed" he suggested "Of what?"

He sighed and answered his own question. "Not just of the way he looks, but you let him go to protect him, only he can't protect himself."

Scully looked at him, insulted "You beleive that?"

Doggett shrugged her off. "I don't know. We'll have a better sense when he wakes up."

The three sat on the couch, all thinking their own thoughts and trying to stay awake. Monica wanted to hold Dana so bad, just put her arms around he and take away the hurt. Doggett worried about Scully and how deeply this whole situation was affecting Monica. All Scully could do was wonder who this man was.

Williams screams brought Scully out of her daydream. She rushed into the nursery, closely followed by Doggett and Reyes. Dana scooped William out of the crib "It's okay" she said, comforting him.

"Is he okay?" Reyes asked, deeply protective of William, who had become like a child to her.

Scully's screams echoed through the nursery "Oh my god, there's blood! Oh my god!"

Reyes glanced into the crib "There's blood on the sheets" she said.

Scully glanced at Dogget "What did he do? What did he do to him?" she yelled, furious.


Scully raced down the hall, Reyes in close pursuit. "Where's Dr Edwards?" she yelled breathlessly.

A male doctor turned to her. "I'm Dr Newman. I'm going to take you baby." He took the screaming baby from Scully.

"He's been injected with something" she breathed.

Dr Newman instructed another doctor."Take him to trauma"

In the background, a doctor rushed over William's stats. Meanwhile, Reyes caught the Doctor's attention. "I spoke to another doctor, a woman. Dr Edwards."

One of the doctors looked up from her work. "I'm Whitney Edwards. Agent Reyes?"

"Yes. This is Dana Scully"

The Doctor wasted no time. "Do we have any idea what he's been injected with?" she asked.

"I have no idea" said Scully "I don't know. I don't know" she began cursing herself.

"We're going to run some tests..." Dr Edwards began.

"I'm a medical doctor, okay? Can I..."

The Doctor cut her off. "Good, then you know what this is all about. You just need to sit tight for me and let us do our job."

Monica clasped Scully's hand and led her to the waiting room. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

Scully shook her head no. Monica backed off and gave her some space - she would only make this emotional pot-luck worse if she got her's and Dana's relationship involved.

It was a long wait. Dana just sat there, William's bunny-ears hat clasped in her hand. Reyes found it more difficult to sit still. She tried sitting all different ways, but in the end her long limbs still ached.

After an eternity, the Doctor finally returned. Reyes' voice pulled Scully out of her contemplation. "Here she comes."

"How is he?" asked Dana desperately.

"He's good, he's doing fine."

Releif flooded both women's faces. Scully smiled "Oh, god."

Reyes asked the question she knew was on Scully's lips "Well, can she see him?"

"We have him in step down right now as a precaution but I think he'll be going home in no time." She replied.

"What did you find?" asked Scully.


Scully went quiet, sifting over the peices of the puzzle in her mind.

Reyes took over the questioning. "How could you find nothing? There would have to be something."

The Doctor racked her brain for answers. "There's some slight bruising on the head where something clearly broke the skin, but...he's fine."

"What about a tox screen?" searched Reyes, hoping to find something to go on for Dana's sake.

"There's an elevated amount of iron in his blood, but other then that your son is completely normal".

Scully took this last peice of the puzzle, and suddenly it all clicked into place. What the man had said...the iron in her childs blood would pull any alien who came near him apart, justlike had happened months ago, at the quarry.

"That doesn't make sense." said Reyes, not seeing the whole picture.

"No, I think it does. It makes perfect sense now."


Scully stood over the crib, looking at her child, lost in thought.

"Dana..." Monica said gently "the rooms all fresh for you. I threw out the old bedding and bought some brand new stuff, okay?"

"Thank you." Scully whispered.

"I know it's impossible to stop thinking about what he said about William, but it's all lies, Dana, and you were the one who proved it." Monica tried to break down her lover's walls.

"And how should I prove it now? By insisting that I can protect him...only to learn too late that I can't?" Scully struggles to keep her composure.

"You say it as if you have a choice."

"He didn't have a choice to come into this life. I don't have a choice about what he is or was...but I do have a choice about the life my son will have." Scully turned from Monica, tears streaming down her face."And shouldn't I choose that he never have to be afraid of anyone or anything? And can I ever really promise him that?" he voice wavers and breaks.

"But who could?" said Reyes, in a hopeless attempt at consoling Dana.

Scully reached over and tapped one of the stars hanging from William's mobile. Her sobs became more gut-wrenching as Monica's arms closed lovingly around her.


but there WILL be a sequel!! And if there isn't bug me with some email: winniek1@tpg.com.au

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Winnie