Land of the Living
Date: Friday, April 05, 2002 10:07 PM
Title: Land of the Living
Author: Catch22Girl (FirePhile@aol.com) Category: SRR (Scully/Reyes) PWP, VA
Summary: Monica sometimes looked at her as if she could see through all the walls and lies. Moncia was unclassifiable. Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, they belong to 1013, FOX, and CC&Co.
"So many things we just don't see
Some people always cryin'
Some people just stop tryin'
And I was slippin' away
You came and pulled me though"
-Land of the Living by Don Henley
Scully looked at the mirror.
The mirror stared back.
The bruise on her neck didn't go away.
The love bite on her neck didn't fade.
She turned this way, and that way, judging herself with a vaguely critical eye.
For the first time in, well, months, her face was flushed, not drawn and pale.
She felt worn out but not tired. Her mind for once was not telling her to just make it through the day.
Thursday was no longer a day before Friday, before the weekend, before Monday in a circle that never had any ending.
No, the circle was broken, the record of her life had slipped slightly -- had finally gone onto the next song.
The endless cycle of thinking "Williammulderwilliammulderwilliammulder" had paused.
She could only stand and contemplate her reflection.
Yet, somehow, she felt at peace.
A feeling she didn't think she deserved. A sensation that was alien and it felt impossible. She hadn't cheated on him, for that to happen they would have had to be in a relationship. When he left, she never asked him to be faithful, and he never demanded her loyalty.
She knew he had no room in his heart for other women, he knew that what they had was something that most people would walk on their lips through busted glass to even feel for an instant.
She loved him more than life itself, she would die for him, she desired him, his faith in her was the only thing that got her out of bed some days...
But...then things took a path she'd never suspected.
Even her name sent a shiver through her.
Scully smoothed down her hair, or tried to, she thought impulsively that she should get it cut. Perhaps shorter, it was getting too long. Maybe a different color, something like a blonde, or a darker red.
It was time for a change. Fate was beginning to push her in a different direction.
Yesterday, Monica had watched William as a favor.
After the fiasco with mom, Scully preferred to have William babysat by someone with a gun.
Monica was almost as good a shot as she was.
Scully had a late lecture and a meeting with fellow professors that quickly disintigrated into endless red tape and backstabbing.
Afterwards, she arrived home, kicked off her high heels and found William asleep and Monica napping on the couch.
Monica was still wearing her work clothes and was using her leather jacket as a sort of blanket.
Monica had placed her shoes near the sofa and she slept on her back, one leg slightly bent, her head turned to the left.
Scully had thought about waking her, but truthfully she knew that Monica had been up since the night before on a stake out. It had been unfair to ask Monica, but, Monica had offered. Monica was always there without fail. Monica, who she could never quite refer to as Reyes.
Monica sometimes looked at her as if she could see through all the walls and lies.
Moncia was unclassifiable.
Scully usually could make pretty quick judgements about people. Only twice had she been proven completely wrong. Agent Doggett was the other case.
She sat in a chair near the couch, trying to get up enough energy to make some sort of dinner.
She wasn't very hungry, but then again, food was one pleasure she'd given up after giving birth. Only had three months to get back into fighting shape after all and she was proud of the fact that she was almost back to her old self.
At least in muscle tone. Emotionally, she was so far from herself she looked at pictures and sometimes couldn't recognize who was in them.
Her mom had forced her into pictures at Christmas time. She hated those pictures. William was gorgeous, as usual, but she was barely there. A shadow really, and the sadness, god she hated the heartbreak that she saw in her expression. Mirrors had become something to avoid. Even looking into one made her depressed, the tears always started against her will.
"Dana," Monica whispered as she turned her head.
Monica was the only one who called her Dana almost consistently.
Scully knew that her name was never associated with something good. This was a nightmare. She knew it.
Monica snapped awake, and then smiled sheepishly. Scully'd never noticed how sincere her smile was before.
"Dana, I'm sorry about falling asleep...is William okay?" She sat up and draped her jacket over the back of the sofa.
"Yes, he's fine and sleeping soundly. That's what you should be doing. Thank you for watching him."
"Anytime." Monica grinned in return. She reached for her shoes and suddenly Scully didn't want her to leave, she didn't want to be alone.
"Up for a drink?" She asked softly, as she said everything nowadays, in a voice barely above a whisper, her voice rough and raw from nightmares she couldn't recall.
Monica glanced at her quickly, "Sure. What do you have in mind? Wine? Tequila? "
"I don't have any alcohol. Orange juice?"
"Yes, that'll be great." Monica stood and followed her to the kitchen.
Scully opened the fridge and pulled out the container. She placed it on the counter.
"Drinking from the bottle?"
Scully saw the lipstick mark and blushed slightly. "I'm sometimes in a rush, in the mornings..."
Monica grinned, "I do the same thing, it'll be our secret."
Against her will, Scully found herself grinning in return. Monica just had this way of making things seem okay. Sometimes, Scully had this desire to spend more time with her, just because, somehow, she centered her. Forced her to examine situations and most importantly, was someone she could trust.
Trust was important.
And then she touched Monica's hand and looked into her eyes.
Monica held her hand gently.
It had been so long since Scully'd felt friendship and understanding from another woman.
Then, Monica moved her thumb slightly, gently caressing Scully's knuckles.
Scully gasped softly against her will.
Monica looked at her again, "Dana." She said simply.
"Monica," Scully whispered.
"I have to go." Monica said suddenly.
"Dana...I like you." Monica said directly, not one to ignore the green three-headed monster in the middle of the room.
As per most of Scully's life changing moments, the important part of the conversation happened wordlessly. The look Monica gave her was more than friendship and Scully noticed it immediately.
"More importantly, you're taken, even if you weren't straight."
"Monica..." And suddenly, kissing her was the most natural act in the world, a soft kiss, but directly on the lips and with just a hint of pressure.
"I never said I was straight," she whispered, feeling on the edge of a cliff but wanting to fall.
Needing to fall.
Her response wasn't expected. It was like something came alive in those warm brown eyes, and the kiss Scully got in return almost brought her to her knees. The pressure, the feel of Monica's soft tongue against hers, against her teeth, the lust that ignited deep inside of her, a desire that had her hormones swirling. Scully found herself against the fridge and all thought ceased. Monica's hands were in her hair, and then Monica started to kiss her jaw, her neck, oh god that one spot that caused her to gasp and grab onto Monica's hair. Her hair was soft, not held down with products, and smelled like springtime.
Monica kissed her neck open mouthed, and her tongue was sending flashes of light behind Scully's eyes.
"Monica," Scully moaned softly. She wore a turtleneck, she felt Monica's hands slip underneath, and she gasped as her thumb brushed against her nipple.
"I want to make you feel better," Monica whispered into her ear. She caressed Scully's breasts through the bra.
"I want to feel better," Scully whispered in return and wished she wore a skirt.
Monica nudged her thigh between Scully's legs and began to thrust slightly. The pressure was just enough, and Monica caressed her breasts like she'd been trying to get men to do for years and Monica kept whispering in her ear, she was losing count of time, the world began to spin, and all she wanted was to be touched.
It was not to be though, and as Monica bit down on the side of her neck a little harder than before and Scully rocked faster on her thigh, she saw the lights flicker behind her eyes, her breathing speed up...and then...she shuddered and it felt like a great burden had been lifted from her mind.
"Dana? Are you okay?"
Monica had her arms around her, and was looking at her with compassion.
"I'm fine. I'd be better if we moved this to my bed." She smiled slightly, wickedly she hoped, because a side of her buried for a long time was coming out to play.
"Later?" Monica grinned slightly and caressed her face with the back of her fingertips. . "I haven't really slept in 24 hours."
"You're right you should sleep. Will you be okay driving?"
"I'll be fine."
Monica put on her shoes, the high heels making her even taller. She grabbed her jacket and wore it, flipping her hair with her right hand so it lay over the collar.
Scully wanted to touch her hair again. She followed her to door, wanting to ask her to stay. Yet she knew the words would never come out.
"Dana, I'll be rested by the weekend." Monica whispered and hugged her tightly.
A warmth spread through Scully's body. "I'm gonna hold you to that," Scully answered shakily and closed and locked the door.
She slept soundly for the first time in months.
Her time in front of the mirror was cut short by a cry from the next room. William, she thought, as she turned around and felt the sun on her face. Her world started up again, the feeling of peace gradually slipped away.
Yet, she had hope that she could find it again, sometime soon.
Hopefully, during the weekend.
I'm new to the list and this is my first try at any R rated PWP story. Let alone a Scully/Reyes story. E-mail any comments to FirePhile@aol.com. I'm really glad to be on a list with so many talented authors! I'd also like to thank everyone in the chat room Thursday night for inspiring me. The "walk on your lips through busted glass" line is from a song called "How Bad Do You Want it?" by Don Henley. The title is also from a Don Henley song.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Catch22Girl