Title: Fantasy Transformations
Category: Scully Slash
Spoilers: up through movie just to be safe Keywords: Scully/Other
Summary: Fantasies transform to help Scully find her true self and desires (this story first written several years ago, since then I have revamped and added some, but I thought I'd post my original first)
Disclaimer: Don't own Scully, just asked her over to play for a while, no money being made and I have nothing so don't bother suing me. Many thanks to 1013, Chris Carter and Fox Broadcasting for making me a little playmate.
Feedback: Much adored, but be gentle; I am loosing my author virginity here Archive: Go ahead to anywhere, but drop me a note so I can visit my first born ;) Beta: none, all the mistakes are fully mine
Mulder's phone rang and brought him out of his light dose. He reached over from his reclined position on his couch and flipped open his cell. "Mulder."
"Mulder, it's me." Scully informed him "Look, as much fun as this last case was, and you know how much I enjoy being swept off into the night to chase monsters and aliens, I have decided to finally cash in some of my vacation time and catch up with some friends from college down in New Orleans for a few days."
"Um, Scully, are you ok?" Mulder asked now fully awake "You don't usually take time off unless something is really wrong."
"Be that as it may Mulder, I am fine. I got a call from an old friend who mentioned their trip. And I surprised the crap out of her when I asked about joining them. So don't worry about me, maybe you should take some down time too." Scully said while thinking; 'Just not in New Orleans, Please!'
"Alright, Scully, just call if you need me." Mulder answered just before he heard her click off the line. Mulder sat and wondered what made Scully decide to take a vacation after all this time.
Scully hung up her phone and started to unpack from their last case. She hated lying to Mulder but she knew if she told him the truth about going to New Orleans alone just to get away he'd worry about her and probably show up there. After working so closely together with him for the past five years she just felt the need to get away. The fact that things were getting weird between them wasn't helping matters any. Scully thought about Mulder almost kissing her in his hallway not too long ago as she repacked her suitcase for her trip with more casual clothing. She smiled as she threw in two bathing suits; she was really looking forward to some fun and sun and down time. Her smile faded again when she started to think more about their almost kiss. They had been partners a long time and she knew she cared about Mulder. She suspected she loved him and he loved her. For a long time she thought she was in love with him but lately she wasn't sure anymore. They'd never crossed the line into any type of physical relationship, unless of course you counted her fantasies. In her mind, for a long time, when ever she allowed self inflicted pleasure it had been Mulder's face and hands and mouth she pictured on her body. Until recently this was her favorite method of stress relief. Lately she would start out with Mulder in mind but no matter what it always seemed as if by the end of her journey, when things were the most intense, her vision of Mulder almost always morphed into someone else. At first she wasn't sure what that meant or why it was happening, at first she wasn't completely sure that the changes, small to say the least, were actually anything she should concern herself with. Over time she paid more attention to her fantasies and realized that there were definite changes, as her passion would build the hair on Mulder's head that she held to anchor him to her would, in her mind, become softer and longer, his mouth more tender, his arms and torso softer and warmer against her skin. She didn't know what it meant but it saddened her, sometimes to the point of tears, because her pleasure was so much greater but at the same time her loneliness after grew as well. When Mulder was just about to kiss her, before the whole messed up bee thing, all she could think was; 'This isn't the soft hair I want to feel against my face and these aren't the lips I yearn for anymore.' Scully felt herself becoming more and more depressed with the thought that she might have finally had the man she'd wanted all along and now didn't seem to want him anymore. Of course, she also couldn't put a name or a face with the man she now fantasized about and that made her feel even lonelier. She pushed those thoughts aside as hard as she could and forced herself to think only of her up coming flight and her time away to herself.
Scully's flight from DC to New Orleans went well, with no delays, and passed quickly. It seemed everyone on the plane chatted about the "Last Hurricane of the Season" and how it couldn't seem to make up its' mind on what to do in the Gulf of Mexico. Scully read her book and kept to herself mostly. It was late October and Louisiana was cooler than usual for this time of year. A cold front was approaching from the North and Scully felt sure that it would push the storm off to the East or West and make the weather for her trip wonderful.
After checking into her hotel she checked her cell for messages and sure enough, Mulder had called several times already to warn her of Hurricane Jonathan. She checked the Weather Channel and was surprised to see the hurricane still spinning north in the Gulf. She also still saw the cold front dropping and felt certain it would keep the storm at bay. She called Mulder and reassured him she was fine. He asked for her hotel information which she reluctantly gave him and switched her cell off. 'This was a vacation after all!'
A long hot bubble bath later, Scully was trying to figure out what she should do with her evening. She'd been to New Orleans before, although it had been a great number of years ago. She considered Bourbon Street, but decided against it for her first night in town. She did want to go out but she also wanted it to be relaxing, something to get her mind away from Mulder and men in general, something casual and fun. She called the front desk and inquired about a nice place where locals went that was fun, but not too rowdy. The girl at the front desk told Scully about her own favorite hang-out, a comedy club in the Garden District. The clerk said that tourists were welcome, but it was off the beaten track and mostly serviced locals. Tonight was their open mic night and she assured Scully of some really great, unknown comedians. 'Maybe a little comedy is just what I need.'
The club turned out to be a short cab ride away. It was tastefully decorated and made her think of pictures she'd seen of old gentlemen's clubs, all done in mahogany and rich colors of burgundy, forest, navy, and gold. The crowd was a good mix of all ages and mostly couples or small groups; Scully felt more relaxed and less concerned about being hit on.
Scully found a small table for two down front next to the stage. After a couple of glasses of sherry, Scully found herself much more comfortable and actually looked forward to the show. Twice she was approached by gentlemen asking if she'd like company, but then a larger group asked if they could borrow her chair, and after that she wasn't approached anymore.
The background music in the club faded out and the stage lights came up. The DJ announced that it was just a few minutes to show time. Scully ordered another glass of sherry and was signing her credit card tab when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She found herself looking up into the most brilliant blue eyes she had ever seen. It took her a minute to formulate thought, but then she realized the blue eyes were attached to the face of a pretty blonde woman who had been speaking to Scully. She had no idea what the woman had said.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you" came the smooth alto timbre of the blonde. "My name is Pam and I'm emceeing tonight's show, just as a favor to a friend actually, and I noticed you're sitting alone. I wondered if you'd mind me pulling up my stool so I'll have a table to organize my cue cards on during the acts."
Scully was still quiet, trying very hard to hear the woman's words over the pounding of her pulse in her ears.
"If you'd rather be alone though, I'll understand," continued the blonde.
"No." Scully replied, almost too quickly, and mentally she shook herself. 'What's with me tonight?' "I wouldn't mind the company at all. I'm Dana Scully, and your name again was?"
"Pam Harris" Pam said, extending her hand to Scully. "Nice to meet you, Dana."
"Actually, Scully please", said Scully releasing Pam's hand, she felt her own hand tremble. 'Get a grip, damn it,' Scully immediately chided herself.
Pam pulled her stool over to the table and sat her bottled water and her stack of cards down. "Let's get the show on the road, then", Pam said and smiled as she headed for the stage.
Scully sat, feeling something very near shock over take her at the first sight of Pam's dimples before she turned to walk away and then again at the sight of Pam's very round backside, slightly swaying, as she climbed the stairs onto the stage.
Pam began to start off the night's entertainment and Scully could hardly get past her voice to the words she was saying. Scully had never had someone's voice have anything near this kind of effect on her. She let her gaze linger on, and study, the woman on the stage. This woman was absolutely breathtaking. Scully knew Pam was taller than herself, 5'8" maybe 5'9", a shoulder length platinum bob, and eyes Scully had already determined were crystal blue enough to get lost in. Every time Pam smiled, the room seemed a bit brighter to Scully and she couldn't help but notice the dimples that framed the smile and sat just south of Pam's high cheekbones. The FBI agent had often heard people comment on her alabaster skin, but she had never seen true porcelain until this night. Scully felt her gaze fall to the woman's frame, dressed simply in a small black satin Bolero jacket over a black tank top that accentuated Pam's full bust line and small waistline just above her khaki Capri length pants that hugged her ample hips and bottom, showing her shapely calves and slender ankles flowing into her black pumps. This woman had more curves than any road Scully had ever traveled. As the first act took the stage, and Pam made her way back to the table, Scully's blatant admiration came to a halt.
The comedians were decent, but Scully was torn between wanting Pam sitting with her where they could chat and wanting Pam on stage where Scully could openly admire her.
Over the course of the evening, Scully missed quite a bit of the comedy routines while talking to Pam, but she found she didn't care. Pam seemed fascinated by Scully's work in the FBI. Scully discovered that Pam taught theater at a local college and sang in this club on Cabaret Night as well as performing with New Orleans Theater Project (New OTP), a local theater group. If Scully had ever seen anyone who belonged on a stage for all to see, Pam was that person.
As the evening's entertainment drew to a close, Scully found herself reluctant to say good-bye to Pam. She knew this made no sense. She barely knew this woman, and after this vacation would probably never see her again, but she was saddened at the thought of good-bye.
When Pam went on stage to conclude the evening, Scully took that opportunity to once again feast on this woman's beauty. As Pam walked back to the table, Scully felt compelled to quickly compose herself and leave.
"Did you enjoy yourself tonight?" Pam asked, smiling as she gathered her things.
"Very much," Scully admitted and felt herself blush, which confused her.
"How long are you going to be in town?" Pam asked casually.
"Only a couple of days," Scully answered. She was surprised when she saw regret cross the other woman's face, but it was so quickly replaced by a smile that Scully was afraid she may have just imagined it.
"Do you have a car with you?" Pam asked.
Scully had forgotten to call a cab before the evening ended. "No, I'll just grab a cab. I'm staying in the French Quarter, which isn't too far."
"Not far, but this city is crazy," Pam replied. "I mean, I know you can take care of yourself and all, but why don't you let me drive you back? I don't mind and cabs are hard to find in this area. I guess I'm just enjoying your company." Pam said and then seemed to wonder if she should have said it.
At first, Scully wanted to decline and call a cab, but she heard herself say, "I'm having a good time too. If it's not too far out of your way, I'd like a ride."
Pam and Scully talked on their way back to the hotel. Scully was really having a good time and found herself captivated by Pam's presence. Upon arriving at the hotel, Scully asked Pam if she'd like to come in. They had been discussing the hurricane and decided to look at the Weather Channel. They both thought the storm would shift to the east based on the weather patterns.
"It's getting late," Pam said, "I'd better get home.'
"Wow, it is late," Scully answered. "We've been talking for hours."
"As long as you're not leaving because of the storm, why don't you see my cabaret tomorrow night? You know where the club is. I go on about 10 and then I can give you a lift back to the hotel. That is, if you like old jazz standards and show tunes." Pam suggested.
"Actually, I'd love that." Scully agreed. "I'm going sightseeing and shopping tomorrow and I guess I'll get a late start since its so late now, but I'll see you at the club at 10."
"Great," Pam answered, and for a split second it appeared to Scully that Pam was leaning into her space, if she had been, she changed her mind and reached up to brush a lock of Scully's hair behind her ear instead. Scully felt fire as Pam's fingertips brushed against her cheek and ear. Both women looked at each other silently until Scully reached up to place her hand over Pam's. Pam immediately shifted her gaze to the floor, mumbled a quick good-bye, and turned to leave.
Scully let the door to her hotel room close and leaned against it. She immediately felt as though she might cry. Scully wasn't sure if it was because Pam had left, or because she didn't want her to go. Nothing about this woman made sense to Scully, especially her own reactions to her.
Scully settled in for the night and got dressed for bed in a satin and lace gown she would never have worn on a case with Mulder. The fabric felt good against her skin, smooth satin, scratchy lace. She ran her hands over the fabric and felt a warm pressure building in her abdomen. She knew she would get no sleep until she found a way to relieve this pressure. Being raised a good Catholic girl; Scully had long fought guilt over pleasing herself but had come to terms with it for the most part. Tonight, however, she felt an uncertainty that was new. She was actually nervous about being with herself, and the thought caused her to giggle.
XXXXXXXXX NC17 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Scully slid into bed, and resting her head against the pillows, she closed her eyes. She was trying desperately to relax. She was hoping for a good night's sleep. It was so late and she was so confused by everything she was trying not to feel for her new friend. With each breath she took she felt the lace of her gown brush her nipples and pull them into tight buds. She ran her hands over the satin covering her waist. 'Soft, so soft.' Her hand reached up to push her hair behind her ear and a perfect picture of Pam appeared in her minds eye behind her closed lids, 'soft.' Scully snapped her eyes open and felt a rush of heat and wetness flood the juncture of her legs. She felt frustrated and very aroused. She could not do this with pictures of her new friend in her mind. She re-closed her eyes and tried to conjure pictures of Mulder; Mulder in a grey t-shirt lounging on her couch sucking on sunflower seeds, splitting them with his teeth and skillfully removing the delicate kernel with his talented tongue. That was usually a good visual to get started. She sees herself walk over to him and take his hand. She helps him up from the couch and takes the seeds from him dropping them on her coffee table. She places his big hands on her waist and frames his face with her hands. She leans in and places a soft kiss on his mouth, lips slightly parted she traces his lips with her tongue and is rewarded by a soft moan from him and the flavor of salt. Their kiss intensifies and he begins to remove her clothing. She takes his shirt off and when their bodies reconnect she feels soft warm flesh where his hard muscled chest should be. Her hands, locked in his short course hair to seal his mouth over hers, now feel longer silky locks that fall between her fingers and tickle her face. Scully feels his kisses become softer, more passionate and trail over her cheek to her earlobe, soft breath warms her ear. She feels his hands, now smoother and more tender cup her breast and round manicured nails trail along her ribcage. As the soft kisses continue down her neck and across her collar bone she feels soft mounds of flesh lightly brush over her abdomen. When the tender mouth surrounds her nipple with fire she gazes down to find not the face of Mulder at her breast but the brilliant blue eyes of Pam staring back at her, eyes full of tenderness and love. Scully lets her hand act as Pam's mouth caressing her very ready body as she allows her mind to flow freely with the fantasy. She can feel Pam's hair brush along her ribcage and lower down her stomach to where she wants her the most. Scully's fingers, simulating Pam's tongue, brush softly over her mons and part her labia, dipping to circle her entrance and gather her ample juices, she knows she is close just from the visual of Pam's beautiful face between her thighs. She concentrates on picturing lush soft crimson lips parted to release a pink tongue connecting them in the most intimate of ways. Her fingers rise to pinch her clit and she pictures herself sucked into Pam's mouth as she breaks apart and shatters into a million pieces. Her orgasm rips through her and she feels warm fluid gush from her body coating her hands and thighs. With all the stars she sees behind her closed lids, she focuses most on the two shining blue eyes she cannot clear from her vision. The waves of pleasure continue to roll over her as she brings her fingers, lover's face, back from her core to her breast then to rest over her heart. Scully feels warm from her orgasm and all of the emotions she feels for the woman.
As Scully came back down from her high, reality began to set in. The hair was the hair she had been feeling, and the tenderness and the softness and warmth. It was all the same as it had been for some time, but the face was the face of Pam and that terrified Scully in a way she'd never felt; and at the same time she felt relaxed and sated. Her body still tingled from the most powerful orgasm she had ever experienced. That tingle followed her into sleep.
The next morning Scully woke feeling warm and relaxed. She remembered her fantasy of the night before and felt a flush creep over her skin. Scully reasoned that she was just being lonely lately and her new friendship with Pam must have been confused by her subconscious as something more.
Scully got up and got dressed. She left the hotel after 1PM in search of lunch and some shopping. The weather had turned nasty but Scully took that as a sign that the cold front was pushing south and would save her from any danger of the hurricane. She got a light lunch and headed over to Jackson Square where she found a small antique book store and went in.
"Shop's closing miss, better get home and out of this weather," the shop keeper informed Scully.
"Huh?" Scully asked having been totally engrossed in what she was reading "what time is it?"
"A little after 6 but the weathers a real mess, outer bands of Jon meeting with a cold front, everything's closing up, airports down and a curfew is going into effect at 9. Better get where you're going. You not down by the river are you? They evacuating some." The man informed her
"Um, not too close to the river, I must have been in here for hours, I didn't realize it had gotten so bad out, when did the airport close?" Scully asked confused that all this was happening so fast
"Bout and hour ago, weather on the delta ma'am. Not gonna find a cab out there so I hope you don't have to go too far." The man replied
"Oh, thanks, I'll be ok." Scully said as she left the shop
The streets were deserted except for some shop owners boarding their windows. The wind was really whipping around and Scully was drenched to the bone by the time she got back to the hotel. She was making a bee line for the front desk to ask about getting a rental car to drive north when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a very upset looking Pam stand up from a sofa in the lobby and start towards her.
"Scully, thank goodness. I was worried about you when you weren't here and they told me you hadn't checked out. I feel kind of responsible for your staying. I didn't expect the weather to do this. The airport is closed and not too far from here they are evacuating hotels. I'm really sorry Scully." Pam told her
"It's not your fault Pam. I didn't think the weather would get this bad either. I'm debating getting a rental car and driving north to an open airport." Scully said
"No way!" Pam quickly replied "we already have tornado warnings and in a couple of hours there is a mandatory curfew, they are expecting hail the size of golf balls and winds up to 90MPH. You can't drive in that."
"I might be safer in a car than in this hotel though." Scully quipped
"I thought of that." Pam said "look I know you don't know me that well but I'd like it if you'd come and stay with me for this mess."
"I couldn't impose." Scully immediately answered
"It's not an imposition. I don't like to be alone for storms like this anyway and I feel like you're here because I told you the weather would be okay. It's not a palace, but I do own a concrete block house further away from the river than here and I have a second bedroom, so I'd really feel better if you left the hotel and came home with me." Pam explained
Scully could feel the start of something in her that she didn't like at all. It was fear, not of the storm so much as what to do. It would be safer at Pam's and she really did want to be with Pam but that just made her more afraid. She didn't seem to be able to make herself refuse though. "Well, I guess that would be the smart thing to do."
Scully and Pam gathered her things and checked her out of the hotel. They drove to Pam's house which, true to her word, was further from the river and looked sturdy enough. Scully was glad to be inside a strong structure by the time the got there. The winds were awful and Pam said they would probably double during the night. They put Scully's stuff in the second bedroom and made some sandwiches for dinner.
"Scully I am going to turn the A/C as low as it will go. It might get chilly in here but if the power goes out it'll keep it from getting sweltering in here so fast. Do you have a sweater with you for this trip?" Pam asked
"Um I don't think so. How are we on supplies if we loose power?" Scully asked "I don't want to put you out."
"I'll get you one of my sweatshirts. We've got plenty of supplies. Living here you always make sure to have more than enough just in case one of these storms come." Pam answered
The sweatshirt Pam gave Scully was basically a dress on her but once the A/C kicked on full blast she was glad to have it. The two women talked and Scully looked at various photos and books and CD's in Pam's living room.
"You really love jazz, huh?" Scully asked
"It's my gig. When I was younger I found out I had a voice for it and my grandmother, who is my hero, was raised on it so she raised me on it as well. I could sing Ella and Billy tunes before I could write my name. It's soulful you know." Pam answered
"I've always loved jazz myself. And I'm sorry I didn't get to hear you sing tonight." Scully admitted
"That can be fixed." Pam smiled as she walked over to her upright piano "Do you sing Scully?"
Scully laughed "I like you too much to do that to you."
"All of me, why not take all of me? Can't you see I'm no good without you? Take my lips I want to loose them. Take my arms I'll never use them." Pam began to play and sing and Scully found herself floating away into the woman's voice again, unable to keep herself focused "Your good bye left me with eyes that cry, how can I go on here without you?..."
Pam finished the song and noticed Scully seemed far away. She started to play another song "Gonna take a sentimental journey, gonna put my heart at ease. Gonna take a sentimental journey, to renew old memories..." Pam noticed Scully shiver and stopped playing. Scully didn't seem to notice and her face looked flushed. Pam walked over to her "Scully, are you ok?"
"Wha.. Oh, yeah, I'm fine, just chilly in here." Scully answered and then Pam noticed what had captured Scully's attention. It was a picture of Pam with her best friend from college who looked sort of like Scully but taller. In the picture they were kissing. Pam felt her face flush, she should have told Scully about this before the storm trapped her here, 'but how do you say I once loved a woman who looked like you and not send someone away screaming?' Pam wondered to herself
"Who's this?" Scully finally asked, sounding kind of breathless
"That's Beth. She was my best friend in college." Pam answered
"Just friend?" Scully asked and pinned Pam with a raised eyebrow and deep gaze
"She was my everything" Pam answered under the intensity of Scully's stare
"What happened?" Scully asked softly seeing the pain in Pam's eyes
"Her parents sent her to college to marry into a name and money. She decided to do that. Her husband knew both of us, said he didn't care if we stayed together, I think he only wanted a trophy anyways, but I couldn't... she meant more to me than sneaking around..." Pam trailed off
"I'm sorry" Scully said honestly, it was breaking her heart to see Pam in pain "It's none of my business and I shouldn't have been nosey."
"It's okay, it was a long time ago. I hadn't thought about her in a while." Pam said trying to force a small smile
"What about after her, do you have a happy story to tell?" Scully asked trying to lighten the mood
"I haven't loved anyone since her" Pam admitted looking sadder "Then I..." Pam cut off looking very afraid "It's getting late and the wind is picking up, we better get to bed, if the power goes out it'll get too hot to sleep" Pam rushed on "Do you need anything before bed?"
'YOU!' Scully thought and reached up to wipe an almost tear from Pam's lashes with her thumb. Pam quickly stepped back and turned to put their dishes into the sink "Nope" mumbled Scully feeling very conflicted and suddenly very lonely again.
"Well, goodnight then." Pam said as she all but rushed past Scully into her room. Scully stood there feeling truly awful for a moment and then headed to her room. She walked past Pam's door on her way and heard a muffled sob. Her heart felt as if it were being torn from her chest. She had never meant to hurt Pam. Scully felt her own tears start as she climbed into bed in a sweatshirt that was too big, that smelled faintly of the woman she knew she was feeling too much for. Scully overcome by a myriad of emotions cried herself to sleep.
An impossibly loud noise, 'an explosion?', tore Scully from her restless sleep. She reached for her gun on her nightstand but then realized she wasn't armed or even at home. Where she was dawned on her when she heard her name screamed from Pam's lips. Scully was on her feet and out of her room. She froze as she turned into the hall to Pam's room. Scully's adrenaline had become liquid fire coursing through her veins. There was a huge tree half-fallen into the house in Pam's doorway. Large hail and sheets of rain were pouring through the ceiling into Pam's room. It sounded like corn popping in a metal box.
"Pam!" Scully screamed "Are you ok?"
Pam answered "I'm not hurt I think, but I'm scared, the ceiling in here is gone and this tree is half on my bed. I'm afraid to move, the roof looks like it's gonna go at any minute."
"Can you get around the tree?" Scully asked
"Not really, it's blocking the door. I could climb over it." Pam suggested
"No!" Scully shouted "Don't touch it, you might bring the ceiling down."
"Then what? Go under it? There's not much room." Pam replied starting to sound panicked
"Pam, please try to calm down. I think there is enough room for you to squeeze through, but don't touch the tree." Scully said peering through a space near the floor
"How do I pull myself through if I can't touch the tree?" Pam asked, sounding shakier
"Pam, listen to me, I need you to be calm, I need you to be okay. I want you to lie down on your back on the floor and put your arms over your head under the tree. I'll take your hands and pull you out. OK?" Scully directed, putting her disaster training to use
Pam complied and Scully soon saw her hands under the tree. Being as detached as possible Scully started to take charge of the situation, talking to Pam as she went "Alright Pam, I've got your hands, now you need to hold still and tell me if you're being hurt or if your clothes or any part of you get caught on the tree. If we disturb it we could pull it down on you, so if you feel anything tell me right away."
Scully worked at pulling the taller woman out of the room. She was being very careful not to disturb the tree or pieces of the hanging ceiling. Thankfully the rain and hail weren't coming through on this side of the tree very much but she could tell as she was pulling Pam out that her skin and clothing were drenched and freezing. She was really regretting the A/C now and hoped that Pam would not suffer from frost bite or hypothermia after this ordeal. Scully knew there wouldn't be a lot she could do for her without being able to get her to a hospital.
After what seemed to take forever, Scully had Pam pulled free of the tree and into the hallway. She immediately started to check her for injuries and monitor her vital signs. Pam seemed unharmed, except for some welts from the hail, but she was very cold and shaking. Her pulse was fast and Scully was worried about the cold. "Can you stand with help?" Scully asked her
"I think so" Pam said through chattering teeth "We should move to the other room, there aren't any trees on that side of the house."
Scully helped Pam to her feet and into her room. She began to pull off Pam's soaked clothing and rub her arms and legs gently, in full doctor mode now.
"What are you doing?" Pam asked as Scully pulled her top off
"We have to get you dry and warm" Scully answered. When Pam was free of her clothes Scully grabbed a blanket from her bed and wrapped her in it. She took a pillow case from a pillow and began drying Pam's hair. Pam's coloring was starting to look better and her pulse had slowed slightly. She still felt very cold to Scully's touch though. Scully laid her down on the bed and rubbed her legs gently to warm her. Scully noticed Pam was watching her and their eyes met briefly.
"I'm feeling warmer now" Pam said with a small smile
"Being dry helps" Scully told her and noticed she was still shaking "Scoot over." Scully advised and the removed her own sweatshirt as she climbed onto the bed next to Pam and wrapped them both in the blanket. Once she was sure they were tightly wrapped together she noticed Pam looking at her again with a strange look on her face. When she met her gaze, she felt Pam shiver. "Are you ok?" Scully asked "My body heat will help warm you. Is your breathing ok?"
Pam did not answer her right away and Scully started to worry about shock just as Pam whispered something Scully couldn't quite hear "What?" Scully asked her again
"I'm much warmer now" Pam answered softly
"You're still shaking though" Scully said as she ran her hand across Pam's slightly warmer abdomen and up her arm to check her pulse in her neck
"Trembling" Pam corrected
Scully froze, feeling the steady throb beneath her fingers. She emerged from doctor mode to realize she was now very naked and lying cuddled against a very naked Pam. Scully's heart rate increased quite a bit and now was faster than the beat under her fingertips. Part of her wanted to pull away, but the majority of her brain was screaming at her to stay right where she was.
"Scully.." Pam breathed her name, sounding like a prayer, and then fell silent and looked away
"You've been through a lot." Scully offered trying to give Pam an out of whatever she was going to say "I just want to make sure your dry and warm and that the shaking isn't from shock."
"It isn't." Pam said softly "I should have told you before, I didn't know how, I didn't want to scare you, I didn't want to risk not seeing you again after that first night at the club, but I should have told you before you were held hostage here by this storm..."
"What?" Scully softly pleaded holding her breath, locked into Pam's gaze, feeling at once afraid and ultimately hopeful
"I am attracted to you." Pam stated softly and when Scully said nothing she started to pull away but Scully reached up to frame Pam's cheek with her hand so Pam continued "I know I am not being fair and I really am fine now so I can move out to the couch..."
Scully cut her off at that. "No." One simple word for all the others she felt but couldn't say
"If I stay here I'll say things I need to say but you won't want to hear." Pam warned
"Things?" Scully questioned "About what you want?"
"What I need." Pam clarified
"What do you need?" Scully asked almost afraid to hear the answer but needing to at the same time
"You" was almost a breath from Pam and Scully wasn't sure she'd really heard it
Scully was made bolder by what she thought she'd heard and asked again "What do you need? I want you to have what you need."
"I think I'm falling in love with you." Pam answered in a hushed tone, then saw tears begin to form in Scully's eyes. "I'm so sorry Scully, I shouldn't have brought any of this up. You've just been trying to take care of me. Please don't cry. I'm okay now." And Pam moved to get up.
Scully held her in place. "Please don't go." Scully stated simply. Pam looked confused "I don't know what to say, except I don't want you to go." Scully admitted through tears
"What do you want?" Asked Pam gently
Scully pulled back and looked at Pam. She let her eyes travel over the woman's face and traced the path with her finger tips, across her hair line, an eyebrow, cheekbone, ear, down the slope of her nose, her jaw line, chin and lingered on her lips a moment before her gaze returned to Pam's eyes. So many things were going through Scully's mind and none of it was making sense, except that she knew exactly what she wanted and what she wanted was Pam. She knew Pam was still trying to read her expression. Scully leaned in and let her lips brush delicately against Pam's as she whispered "You, I want you."
Pam pulled back slightly to look into Scully's eyes. "Are you sure? I don't want you to regret this, I don't want you to think of this as a mistake."
Scully smiled seeing Pam was still uncertain and concerned for her "I am terrified, and I am sure. This can't be a mistake because it feels too right and I would never regret loving you."
That seemed to be all the assurance Pam needed, and smiling she leaned in to press her lips to Scully's.
Author's notes: Thanks for reading. I already have written some more of this Universe and must confess that I may have fallen a smidgen in love with my original character since she is not quite as cryptic as the real person she is based on. Hope you liked!!!
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